Category Archives: Comedy

Are You Confused About Drugs

I continue working on my comedy routine about health and humor for my retirement community.  You can go back a couple of blogs if you want an earlier part of the routine.

THE MEDIA IS THE MESSAGE

I blame the media for a lot of the confusion about drugs. They can’t seem to make up their minds. On the one hand, they say:

Take this tiny colored pill and, it will cure your disease and eliminate your depression. According to the pictures, you will be laughing and dancing, and celebrating the good life.

Then, almost as an afterthought, they say that if you have an allergic reaction, are unable to keep your food down, or are tempted to commit suicide, you should inform your doctor.

I can imagine someone calling their doctor because the pills that were prescribed are having a strange effect:

“Doctor, I know that you are busy, and all I can do is leave a message at your office, but I just wanted to thank you for prescribing these beautiful purple pills with the smiley faces on them. I’ve decided that they look so good that I’m just going to take them all at once and see if that doesn’t take all my worries away. By the way, I’ve put a freeze on all of my accounts, so there is no need to send me a bill for your excellent advice.”

I mean really, are drugs supposed to give you a high, or a low.

Make up your minds drug companies.

CHANGING OUR VOCAULARY

Have you noticed how this whole drug debate has changed our vocabulary?

When I was a kid, my uncle taught me how to make a wood joint that would hold the corners together.

Then as a young man, I used to dial up some friends to see if they would like to meet me at a local joint and have a few beers to relax.

Then as I got older, I began to worry about my aching joints in my knees.

But now, if I understand what’s happening in our legislature, I soon will be able to

buy a joint at a local store that will join my friends together,

make me forget about my joint pains, and instead of building corners, I’ll just cut a few corners and forget about whether they hold together or not.

OK, I PERFORM NEXT TUESDAY

At the end I’m going to lead them through an exercise in creating their own joke.

First, pick one little topic about the experience of growing older.

Make a list of several possible  topics and then choose one.

            Now good jokes have attitudes.

Weird

Scary

Hard

Bugs me

Stupid

Form a question about your topic but add the attitude word to it.

EG You want to know what is really scary about getting old?

Once you have your question, add a couple of statements that answer your question (not trying to be funny.)

You know what’s really scary about going old

You’re not going to be able to drive your car anymore.

Your favorite foods are bad for you.

And then a statement with a twist:

And you can’t see people cheating at cards

Have some fun trying it yourself. it’s a great diversion and you might make someone laugh and feel better even if for just a moment.