Go out into the world...

Today is my anniversary of 44 years of marriage. As I approach 70 years of age, next February, and consider my 44 years of marriage, I am filled with gratitude for the life that I have lived. I’ve had the highs and lows that everyone experiences, sometimes resented not being paid what I felt I was worth or appreciated for what I was doing, but if the prayer was that God would provide me each day my daily bread, then I have to say that God has been more than faithful in answering that prayer.

I would pray that others who have responded to God’s call can feel the same overall satisfaction that I have in my ministry. It is not an easy world in which to minister. I don’t know whether it is growing more complex or not but I do believe that the importance of our witness is more significant than ever. In a time when people are consumed by the crass and the trivial, it is important that there be a witness to the sacred and the eternal.

Religion is critical and often destructive factor in the politics of our age. The difference between those who believe they are the agents of God’s truth and those who are willing to submit to God’s will, even when they don’t fully understand, is the difference between violence and peace.

I’m back from a wonderful two week vacation in Glacier, Yellowstone, and the Tetons with my wife and 13 year old grandson. Since returning I’ve also talked with two colleagues who have just finished their sabbaticals and are resuming their tasks as pastors. Both my experience and theirs reminds me again of the issue of re-entry. Whether its vacation or sabbaticals, re-entry can be difficult. Your time away has re-introduced you to some of the pleasures of life, including the lack of perpetual deadlines and the necessary response to the needs of others, that are so draining in life. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the details that await your attention. The image I use is that it is like being on a 15 cup of coffee routine, then being away from the coffee and caffeine until your body is clean, and then abruptly resuming the 15 cup routine again. It takes you a little while to accustom your body again.

Some suggestions that might help.
Whether you did this before or not, write down a list of the most immediate projects, prioritize them, and only commit to a reasonable amount of them for the first week.
Recognize that even then, there will be unanticipated interruptions that will alter your schedule.
Deliberately only allow yourself to work a reasonable amount of hours each day, regardless of what you are able to complete in that time.
Remember that your ministry is a good work and the issue is not how to escape it but how to balance its demands in a reasonable manner.
Don’t assume you must accomplish everything at once. Don’t exhaust yourself in trying to finish the list.
Occasionally take a break and remember some of the things that have given you pleasure and indulge in some of them.

Judy Carter, in her book The Comedy Bible suggests an exercise that can translate directly into the life of a pastor and has the possibility of altering his or her emotional state. Her assignment is to write a thank-you note to someone at least once a week. She tells of mentoring a fifteen-year-old high school student “who has a lot of reasons to be resentful about her lot in life. She has no father and lived in one room in a motel in Compton with her four siblings and her mother, who was on welfare. By writing one thank-you note a week, she went from a whiner to a winner.”

It almost seems too simple but consider its power in your life as a clergy. There are lots of times when you can be drained by all the pain you absorb from others as well as the challenges of being a pastor. It is easy to become mired down by the negative. Now, stop at least once a week and consider someone who is someone or has done something for which you can express thanks. Two things happen. First, in a world of rapid communication, someone receives a handwritten note from someone who appreciated them. Two, you have found another reason to be thankful in your own life.

I would challenge you to do that for at least four months and see if it doesn’t have a positive effect on your own perspective on life while making numerous other people feel better in their lives.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?” Remember the context of that profound question. Elijah had been working hard combating the prophets of Baal, then went through a period of despair. Perhaps we could call that “burn out.” God led him to Mt. Horeb or Mt. Sinai where Moses had received the Ten Commandments. In symbolic terms, Elijah came back to the source — both to God and the place where the community was first shaped by the commandments. Then Elijah was confronted with the “WHY” question. Once Elijah had resolved that issue, he had energy for the future.

All that is background for suggesting that when you are experiencing your own version of PTSD or burnout, you need to probe the “WHY” question. You can take the first step through writing.

For the next several days, at least 6 days, set aside at least one-half hour and write in response to the question, “Why am I in the ministry?” Don’t try to create a perfect essay. Simply start writing and keep on writing for the entire half-hour. The next day, do it again, coming at it from a different perspective. For now, don’t look back at what you have written previously. What you are doing is pushing past the surface and probing the depth of your vocation or calling. It is alright to acknowledge the obvious. I need to pay the rent. I like helping people. But also come at it from your faith perspective as well. What is your understanding of God’s role in your life?

The second step is to read all that you have written for the past six days in one sitting. Make note of common themes, patterns, surprises, etc.

The third step is to try to articulate for a friend “why you are here?” Encourage the friend to probe you and raise questions as you go along.

Fourth, if God were standing with you at Mt. Horeb, after the earthquake, the wind, and the fire, what would God say to you in the silence about what God wants of you in the future.

To paraphrase Viktor Frankle, once you have a grasp on the why, you can endure almost any how. You will discover renewed energy for the journey.

The Lawrence Schmidt Center newsletter recently published an article by Dr. George Morelli on Clergy Fatigue and Burnout, in which he listed signs of compassion fatigue. While our culture increasingly slips into labelitis or thinking that by assigning something with a label, they are solving the problem, it is helpful to note some of the signs he indicated. I will summarize some of the signs.
1. Becoming preoccupied with those you are helping.
2. Not finding satisfaction with one’s ministry.
3. Experiencing a loss of energy.
4. Finding difficulty separating ones own feelings and spiritual life from the problems being dealt with.
5. Increased irritability in everyday matters.
6 Concluding that one’s priestly activities are not worthwhile.

His suggestions for ways to combat this fatigue I find rather mundane and not very helpful, but the indicators might serve as warning signs to any of us. From a spiritual perspective, a key factor may be the inability to separate ones spiritual life from either the problems in another person’s life or the public measures of success in our society. Once we become over identified with the tasks we are performing, then those problems, rather than God, are directing our lives. Since the nature of ministry rarely allows us to come to full resolution in many of the challenges before us, we can easily feel overwhelmed and a failure.

I would submit that a key factor leading to compassion fatigue, as opposed to physical and emotional exhaustion, is a loss of vision for our ministry. To draw upon the work of Vicktor Frankle, when we lose touch with the “why,” then our soul begins to dry up. If you look at either the major biblical figures or the lives of many of the saints of the faith, there was an inner strength that enabled them to keep going despite suffering, failure, and defeat. They were able to hold on to the source that gave their life meaning and their work satisfaction. That is what we need to discover how to do.