HOW TO LISTEN
The problem with our ideological splits today is that we have lost the capacity to listen to each other with any anticipation that we might learn from the other person.
I think Jesus was on to something when he frequently told parables to engage people in thinking about issues. When the lawyer asked Jesus who was his neighbor, he could have given a straight definition. Then the issue would have been whether the lawyer agreed or disagreed. Instead he told a story that engaged the lawyer.
DISCUSSING ABORTION
Let me use abortion as an example. Regardless of your position on abortion, if the subject comes up, do you first find yourself looking for clues in the opening comments about which SIDE the person is on? If you knew your church was going to discuss the issue, would you be inclined to search the internet for the best information to support your position? When you are in the discussion, as the other person speaks, do you find yourself only half listening while you try to decide what the best counter argument will be? Do you enter into such conversations assuming that someone will win and someone will lose the argument? Do such discussions tend to build community or divide people into camps?
Let me suggest that you might have more fun and it might result in better community if you approached the subject through fictional stories that engage each other.
TRY IT, YOU’LL LIKE IT
Let’s try an experiment. I’ve picked abortion but you can choose any issue for your story. Now begin by choosing two or three people for your story. Before you get to the story, take some time to write a two or three sentence biography of each of your main characters. What do they look like? How do they interact with other people? Do they tend to be shy, outgoing, kind, argumentative, etc? What are their respective ages, careers, and economic levels?
For my example, I’m going to choose, Ralph, a male, middle aged pastor, who tends to be a conflict avoider but also has some pretty strong convictions. The second person is Alice, a twenty-two year old college female whose family are prominent members of the church. Alice is bright, modestly attractive, and idealistic. She is home from college for a visit and asked to speak to the pastor. We could add other details, but you get the idea.
The conversation takes place on a Saturday afternoon in the pastor’s office. No one else is around. “My parents don’t know I’m having this conversation and I’d like to keep it that way,” she begins. “I want to talk to you about the church’s stand on abortion,” she says, “and without going into further details, this is not just an academic subject for me.”
COMPLETE THE DIALOGUE
Now your task is to take no more than an hour to complete the dialogue between these two people. Don’t make either person have perfect answers or be perfect in their responses. Help them explore, even change their minds, and perhaps occasionally be insensitive but both are trying to communicate.
Your challenge is to try to engage the reader in the incarnation, where the word of God takes on flesh in real humans as they interact around the complexity of the world.
SHARE THE CONVERSATION
I would be delighted to see some of your efforts at story making. With your permission, I might even share some of them on this blog. In this case, let’s stick with abortion, but the same process would apply to any issue.
