Go out into the world...

Presbyterians Todayreported in their March issue a startling study of the changing weight of pastors. In the past 17 years, the average weight of pastors hs increased eleven pounds, from 181 pounds in 1991 to 192 pounds in 2008. The share of pastors who are obese has doubled from 14 percent to 27 percent in that time period. This increase, according to their study, occurred for both male and female pastors, and younger and older pastors. This is not the type of equality that we are seeking.

I’m assuming that this is happening in other denominations as well. I’m well aware that this also follows the national trend towards obesity among the general populace. There is evidence that this tendency towards obesity affects their mental health. Is it possible that it also affects their spiritual health and their capacity to engage in effective ministry?

I realize that there is a built in prejudice against heavy people. There is no physical description of Jesus in the Scriptures. The images we have are developed out of our imagination. Still, have you ever seen an image of a fat Jesus or even a heavy set Jesus. This, of course, is in contrast to the Asian image of a fat Buddah.

There is good reason to examine our prejudice regarding weight, but we also need to recognize the health costs, both mentally and physically, to inappropriate weight. And we should ask what this increase in weight among our clergy is saying about how they handle the stress and challenges of ministry.

On the positive side, the same report found that 21 percent of Presbyterian clergy are in formal weight-loss programs and 39 percent belong to fitness centers.

The full survey may be found at www.pcusa.olrg/research .

I know that some who read this blog are from other cultures. I wonder whether some of the same trends are occurring wherever you live.

We are working on a clergy appreciation event that I think could have good dividends for others as well. Each year the month of October is noted as Clergy Appreciation Month. We are trying to arrange a very nice clergy appreciation banquet for our community.

Here are some of the details that we are working on. First, we are trying to contact the lay leaders of as many congregations as possible and ask them if they would be willing to do two things in appreciation of the work of their pastor(s). First, would they be willing to find $100 to pay for the pastor and spouse to attend the banquet. Second, would they be willing to compose a letter describing their appreciation of the pastor’s work in their church.

The $100 pays for two people’s dinner at an attractive hotel in the city. The letters will all be all be placed in a box and a drawing will be held at the banquet. The winner will have a two night stay at the hotel. The other letters of appreciation will be sent to the pastors.

The program will include both a comedy routine that allows us to laugh at some of the stressful aspects of ministry and we will also have an inspiring speaker that lifts up the nobleness of the call in which they are engaged. We believe that the ecumenical character of the event will also have some positive benefits for the community.

While we are working through a local counseling center that has a division focused on congregational health, the same event could be arranged by some judicatory leaders working together. If we are able to generate some good pubicity for the event, it may also trigger some expressions of appreciation even from congregations that don’t participate.

If we are to model our ministry after that of Jesus, perhaps it is importnt to recall some incidents in the Bible that recall Jesus receiving help as well as giving it.

A very clear example is in Matthew 8:14-15. The story is a simple one. Jesus cameto Peter’s house and discovered that his mother-in-law was ill. The first thing he did was to heal her of her fever. We are familiar with that aspect of Jesus ministry but notice what happened next. “She got up and began to serve him.” His ministry to her enabled her to minister to him. It is a brief incident but it raises the question of how often we allow the members of the congregation to whom we offer ministry to also offer ministry to us.

Matthew 26:6-13 offers a more familiar incident. Jesus was enjoying the hospitality of Simon the leper, whom presumably he had healed of his leprosy. The first aspect we should notice is Jesus willingness to receive Simon’s gratitude in his home. But then comes the story of a woman pouring an alabaster jar of costly ointment on his head while he was sitting at table. The disciples got upset that she was wasting this costly ointment but Jesus response is instructive. “Why do you trouble the woman? She has performed a good service for me.”

Sometimes people want to express their gratitude towards a pastor or educator, even at times in a lavish style. I remember a parishoner who, during a stressful time at our church, surprised me with a gift certificate to a health spa. It was not something I would have ever thought of or indulged myself in. It was his way of saying, “I know times are tough. Take a break on me.”

We are also made aware in Matthew 27:55 that there were a number of women who accompanied Jesus in his travels and provided for him. There are those in our congregations who have a ministry of offeing us support and encouragement at significant moments in our ministry.

Of course we can get in trouble if we begin to believe that some how, because of our hard work, we deserve such extras. If we can receive them as small acts of grace, however, we can both honor the ministry of others to us and see them as intermitent signs of God’s love affirming our ministry.

Healthy ministry is a two way street.

I want to pursue this idea of the importance of being open to receiving support in your ministry. There are far too many clergy and educators who misunderstand the witness that they can make by being willing to receive support and appreciation from others in ministry. How often have you found yourself stammering or even dismissing a compliment given to you.
“You did a fantastic job in guiding the congregation through that difficult congregational meeting, pastor.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that big a deal.”
Think how dismissing the person’s compliment also dimishes the person offering it.

Maybe a better response would be, “Thanks. I’m glad to get your response. Knowing how I come across to others is really important to me.”
Now you have not only received the compliment graciously but also honored the one who gave it.

It needs to be recognized that there is an important form of ministry that takes place when you ask others to help you. I’m not talking about a pastor asking someone to serve on a committee. That can also be important but I am talking about asking someone to help you specifically. “This meeting is very important but I didn’t get much sleep last night, could you possibly drive me to the meeting?”

Sometimes in asking for help, you help the person you ask reflect on their own life as well. “I know that you have a demanding job as well. Could you help me understand how you balance your time with family and keep up with your professional responsibilities.”

Many people in our congregations have gifts that would help us and would feel good about sharing them if they were asked. Maybe a way to gain perspective is to recall the feeling of satisfaction that you received when you were able to help someone with a problem that the had. I recall several times in my ministry when I just happened to have the right word or action that helped someone in a difficult moment and feeling gratitude afterwards that God had called me to that moment. Not only did it help that person but it helped give value to my life as well. So if that is so good for us, why are we reluctant to offer that same feeling of satisfaction to another person?

We need to reflect more on the ministry of asking others for help.

I think one of the important aspects of clergy care is our willingness to permit the congregation to care for us. Many people who work in the area of care of clergy report that one of the bigger resisters to clergy care is the clergy person. Why is it so difficult to allow others to care for our needs as the clergy person?

One can speculate as to why that is. One factor is that many people who are called to the pastorate are people who gain satisfaction from giving but are not very good at receiving. Clergy could learn a lot about pastoral care by consciously reflecting on how they feel when they are on the receiving end.

To give is to be in control and to receive is to be vulnerable and dependent on others. When you give help to another, it often means that you are exercising a kind of power over that other person. They are in need and you give out of your strength. The concept of the wounded healer made popular by Henri Nouwen is easier to talk about than to put into practice.

When we speak of Jesus as one who came to serve rather than be served, we often use that as the rationale for our trying to be strong and generous towards others. Yet it was when Jesus voluntarily placed himself in the power of others, even to suffering on the cross, that we learned what true servant ministry is.

It might be that we would become more effective pastors if we were willing to both give and receive care. Perhaps then we could learn how to give in a manner that didn’t make the receiver feel diminished.

I had a member of my congregation whose circumstances made her very needy in a variety of ways. She had two mentally disabled children and a husband whose illness made him unable to work. Her church had rallied around and given her a lot. One day when we were talking about her experience she said something I have never forgotten.

“I know that you are familiar with the saying in the Bible about how it is more blessed to give than to receive,” she said. Then she looked me in the eye and said, “I can tell you from experience that it is a hell of a lot easier to give than to receive.”

Sometimes we may be offering good ministry by being willing to allow someone else to serve us.