Go out into the world...

Tom Erich, who I knew when he was an Episcopal priest in Winston-Salem, recently wrote a column in which he described his view of the challenge of pastoral leadership in the church. The title of the column is A New Spirit and can be found at his website, www.morningwalkmedia.com . I’ll comment on his idea on leadership in a later blog but first let me share with you his job description of an average pastor.

A pastor is “underpaid (earning less than half the pay of a regular job with comparable skills and expectations), overworked (six-day weeks, 12-hour days, on call 24/7, minimal staff), and subject to occupational stress that lands many in divorce court and in treatment for depression and addiction.”

While that could be seen by others as whining, on the face of it, that seems to me to be an accurate description of what is facing the average pastor. One could go on to describe the many satisfactions of being a pastor, but you should not neglect the realities that are part of a pastor’s life. It is for that very reason that learning how to take care of oneself in the pastorate is so important. I’ve spent over 40 years as a clergy and most of that time I worked sixty to seventy hour weeks, but I also learned how to take care of myself and my family relationships in the process. I think I even did that without conveying to my congregations that I had drawn such hard boundaries around me that I wasn’t approachable or available when they needed me.

When I speak of care of the pastor, I’m not suggesting that pastors need to be coddled. Nor am I suggesting that they are fragile. They are often as tough as anyone in the workforce. What I am suggesting is that there is a healthy and and unhealthy way to engage in one of the most challenging and satisfying professions around.

For ways to do that, keep reading the blog.

I was recently talking to a pastor friend about his life and ministry and a very familiar subject came up. I asked him what he did for fun. He was silent. I then asked him if I was able to provide for him a completely unscheduled day with no responsibilities, what would he do with it. He finally said that he would probably read and listen to music. As we discussed it further, it became clear that he did not know how to play. I don’t do that very well either and I wonder why.

It raises the question of boundaries from a different perspective. How do we draw boundaries that give us permission to step across a boundary for a short period of time and simply engage in some refreshing joy?

For those of us who have learned the lesson of adulthood too well – that of being super-responsible, we have lost the art of engaging in purely pleasurable activities. Think back to your childhood and recall how you could spend hours simply playing. Maybe playing engaged your capacity to fantasize. Maybe it was engaging in some physical activity, not for the sake of better health but simply because it was fun. Maybe it involved engaging in the arts for aesthetic pleasure. Whatever it was, I would suggest that it helped separate you from being productive and allowed you to just be for awhile.

Some people have found that in a hobby. I know of someone who casts pottery for pleasure. Another plays and instrument and makes music. Still another draws cartoons. Others engage in sports, sing, hike, go to movies, an orchestra, or play computer games. There is always the possibility that one can become overly involved in such activity, but it is important that we identify something that takes us away from the constant responsibilities of our life and in a life affirming way experience pure joy.

Think about it. How do you play? Is there someone who helps you to play? Are there ways of play that don’t take a long period of time but are still refreshing? And when you really need to break the cycle of stress, what type of longer experience of play can you engage in?

It is the day before Thanksgiving and all through the house — Oh, wait, that is another season. Anyway, on this day before Thanksgiving, I want to suggest a small event that I think you will find helpful in your own life.

Find one half-hour and go some place where you will not be disturbed. Having quieted yourself, begin to reflect on your life from as early as you can remember. In some sections of your life, it might be helpful to do it in three or four year chunks, although in certain crowded junctures, you may have to focus on a particular year. What you are to do is to review the major events of each period and identify events, people, or moments for which you are thankful. Don’t neglect the negative events if in retrospect you can now see a redemptive result having emerged out of the experience. That doesn’t justify what happened but only allows us to see how “in everything, God can work for good.”

Since you are only going to take a brief time doing this, don’t dwell on the events but simply note them. For many people it is helpful to make a brief note on a pad of each event. Don’t describe it fully. You can do that later if you want. For now just put down a brief description that will recall it later. My guess is that you will be infused with a strong spirit of thanksgiving by the time you are through. It is also an opportunity to recognize that you have not been alone in your life but that there has been an “invisible hand” guiding you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yesterday I wrote of organizing a pastor’s appreciation banquet for the community. Today I want to suggest a couple of other community events that could serve as a venue for expressing appreciation for pastors and their work.

I would encourage judicatories of denominations to consider organizing an event like this every year or so. It not only serves to express appreciation to the pastors but when it is community wide and ecumenical, it can serve as a witness to the whole community about the work of pastors. Somebody has to initiate the process, so what I suggest is that a judicatory head, perhaps a General Presbyter or a Methodist District Superintendent, call some of their counterparts in the area and suggest a lunch to discuss the idea. If such a gathering hasn’t been done lately, that event alone could be healthy for the Christian community.

In this economically stressful age, one of the first questions is going to be cost. When we organized the banquet for pastors, we asked churches to cover most of the cost and got a few sponsor donations to cover the rest. If the idea is framed correctly, I also think it would not be difficult to find a couple of individual donors who would feel good about privately sponsoring such an event. Some combination of the above could zero out the expense to the denominations. Their task, and an important one, is to be willing to communicate with the lay leadership of their respective churches and encourage participation.

In addition to the banquet idea described yesterday, here are another couple of possibilities to consider. If the community has a local university or college, how about organizing a block of seats to a game and having a tail-gate party or reception before the game. Some universities have booster clubs with lounges that might be convinced to provide some space for the event. The university or college would likely offer a discount, particularly to an early season game. They probably would also welcome the group during the game which would increase the visibility of what you were doing. If it is a small community with one or two high schools, the same idea might work at a high school game.

Another idea might be to contact a local theater group and organize a reception before the event or depending on the event maybe even having a discussion following the event. Again, the purpose is to create community among the clergy and have them experience appreciation for their work.

Get creative. You will enjoy the results.

I’m not sure whether I have written this up or not. A couple of weeks ago our community had a pastor’s appreciation banquet organized by an ecumenical counseling center. The program is something that could be duplicated by any community. Here is what happened.

The center invited local churches to find $100 to provide for their pastor and spouse a celebratory banquet in appreciation for their work. In addition, the churches were asked to send along with the reservation a letter of appreciation for their pastor’s work. This letter was given to each pastor who attended. The $100 per couple paid for a very nice banquet and some extras. Ten times during the evening, a drawing was held and the winning couple received a free night at the Brookstown Inn, a local bed and breakfast. We also commissioned a local musician to take a familiar hymn tune and write new words to it celebrating the work of pastors. We invited a speaker who had done research on the challenge of being a pastor and had a local comedian provide some levity to the evening. The end result was a fun evening and an expression of appreciation for the hard work of ministry.

We did learn in the process that most communication with churches goes through the pastors and you can’t send an invitation to a pastor to have their board express appreciation to them. So before planning such an event, you need to strategize on how to communicate with the lay leaders in the congregations. You also have to work hard in convincing congregations that there is no hidden agenda. It is a sad truth that people can get suspicious when you say that all you want to do is express appreciation.

Community wide expressions of thanks are hard to pull off in our individualized communities but they are good for the whole community.