Go out into the world...

Yesterday I spoke of the confessions of Jeremiah as useful sources of reflection when you are feeling despairing. Given all the pressure to be positive in our society, it is interesting how often in Scripture there are passages that honor the feelings of despair. In my book, Experiencing the Psalms I explored the place of rage in worship and the value of the psalms of lament for addressing the negative feelings we often experience as a pastor. As Calvin said, the psalms reflect an anatomy of the human soul. You can find there an expression for all the feelings that a human ever experiences.

Some of the psalms that you might find useful when you are depressed or despairing are: Psalm 6, 11, 13, 22, 38, 42, and 88. There are others but that would provide you a good beginning.

There are a couple of ways to reflect on the psalms that might prove helpful.

An easy one is to place your name in the psalm and sense how it feels to be expressing those feelings to God.

A second strategy is to read a verse and then paraphrase it to apply it to your own situation. What you are doing is allowing the psalm to provide a framework for your prayers.

An important aspect of all of these approaches to Scripture is to recognize that you are not alone in your feelings and to recognize that they are appropriate feelings to express in blunt terms to God. Feeling despair does not disqualify you as a person of faith. As it did with Jeremiah, it may be a painful step to deeper maturity.

In reflecting on this state of despair among clergy, I am reminded of the confessions of Jeremiah. Jeremiah lived in a time of tumult, anxiety, and despair. His several confessions, scattered throughout the book of Jeremiah, are worthy of review in light of our current situation. They deserve a more thorough study than I am going to give them here, but if you are feeling a sense of despair, let this be a start.

Step One: Give yourself permission to pull off by yourself for a couple of hours. It can be a quiet place, like a chapel or a library but it might also be a noisy place like a fast food restaurant. At times I have found sanctuary in the midst of the noise, and yet it reminds me of the humanity around me.

If it is a restaurant, treat yourself to a hot or cold drink, find a table in a corner, and spend a period of time with a pad of paper simply writing about your feelings of despair. Don’t look for answers or solutions but simply write, perhaps for one-half hour, in a stream of conscience, free-flowing manner about your feelings. This alone will have its value.

Step two: I’m going to list the references in Jeremiah of his several laments. You are to read them and note, in relationship to what you have written, where you could also put your name. These are the references: 4:19-21; 5:3-5; 8:18-23; 11:18-12:6; 15:10-21; 17:14-18; 18:18-23; 20:7-18. Not all of them will fit but I can promise you that if you are feeling despair, you will find a companion who shares your feelings.

This doesn’t resolve your feelings of despair, but it is a significant step to know that you are in community with others that God has called to be shepherd servants of the Lord. Let it be a beginning.

Another step tomorrow.

When things are going well and there is a general atmosphere of optimism, we can grow slack on our theological beliefs. We can spend energy debating theological nuances and neglect giving attention to some basic beliefs. I remember a conversation I had with a Christian pastor’s family relating their experience of living in Europe during the time of the holocaust. The essence of the conversation was that when your life is on the line you don’t have the luxury of debating non-essentials. You are driven back to basic beliefs.

Yesterday I mentioned the sense of despair engulfing many clergy. What are some of the basic beliefs that we need to revisit during times when we are feeling anxious and even despairing? John Calvin, who also wrote at a time of despair and anxiety, found himself emphasizing the sovereignty of God. Perhaps it is time for us to remind ourselves that God is in charge and ask what God is doing in the midst of our chaos.

In line with that, I recall one of my favorite verses from Matthew 6:34: “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. today’s trouble is enough for today.” If you are feeling anxious about the state of the church, this may be a time when you need to focus on what you can do in your church at this time and trust in God to sustain you in the future.

There would be value, for yourself and others, to meet with one or two colleagues, and have as your agenda identifying five basic truths about the church that need to be emphasized at this point in time. First, it would prevent you from slipping into isolation. Second, it would take you back to some basic fundamentals about your call. Third, it would remind you that you are part of something bigger than yourself. All of that can be healing in a time of anxiety.

I was recently in a series of conversations with clergy who from various angles were talking about the sense of despair among clergy. One reported that he had had at least three conversations recently with clergy who had thought about suicide or other self-destructive actions. Another talked about his awareness of older clergy who felt they, due to the recent economic downturn, could not afford to retire. They were no longer enthusiastic about their ministry but felt it was necessary to continue. The result was that other younger clergy, who would normally have moved into those positions were being blocked. A third colleague reported his conversations with colleagues who were seeing their denominations “implode” and felt like they were having to respond to members disenchantment at the higher structures of the denomination at a time that they were getting less and less support from the denomination.

All of that raises the question of how you cope when you are feeling despair. My first suggestion is that you work against the tendency towards isolation. Despair and depression often cause one to draw in on themselves and separate themselves from community. It is only a first step but when you feel despair, it is very important that you seek out a colleague or a spiritual counselor with whom you can talk about what is happening.

Tomorrow I will explore some fundamental theological truths that need to be revisited during this time when we are threatened by despair.

A recent survey among the membership of the Presbyterian Church (USA) revealed the following differences between the clergy and the membership.
Almost half of members (46%) and elders (49%) identified themselves as Republicans. Only 23% of pastors gave that designation. Half of the pastors (50%) identified themselves as Democrats. 25% of pastors identified themselves as independents.

That can raise the question of whether the pastors are out of step with their membership. The accusation has been made before that too many pastors push a liberal agenda. However, the study also reveals that the political preferences of members and clergy have remained relatively stable since 1987. So the question I would ask is why is it that so many members who see themselves as identifying as Republicans politically are attracted to pastors who tend to identify themselves as either Democrats or Independents. Remember that if you combine the number of pastors that align with the Democratic party and those who choose to see themselves as independent, you find 75% of Presbyterian pastors in this category.

I recently served as an interim of a church who saw themselves as conservative and they and I saw myself as a liberal. We joked about it but we both benefited from that relationship. The next interim they chose also saw himself as more liberal.

Rick Warren, author of the Purpose Driven Life, recently defined fundamentalists as people who refuse to listen to anyone else. My guess is that there is a whole body of believers who are not fundamentalists and recognize the value of listening to people with different ideas and understandings.

Both clergy and members understand that their beliefs are not perfect and that they need to be challenged in a respectful way as they continue their journey. When both clergy and members can accept that their differing perspectives contribute to the enrichment of the whole, and recognize that they are united by a common commitment to Christ who transcends all of their beliefs, then the church has the possibility of hearing a word from God that challenges and redeems us all.