Then God Created a Committee

I found this excerpt from a book, “We Can’t Keep Meeting Like This” by Jane L Justis. You can find it on Amazon. As we think about the story of presbyteries, we need to keep our sense of humor.

In the Beginning was the Committee….”

“Working with boards, committees, and task forces is hard…even for God. The following is a well kept secret account of how the world might actually have began. Read it and be comforted.”

“In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void; so God created a small committee. God carefully balanced the committee as to sex, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determinism according to judicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed. And so ended the first day.

“And God said, ‘Let the committee draw up a mission statement.’ and behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize. And God called the process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

“And God said, ‘Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long-range planning.’ Unfortunately, a debate as to the semantic difference between goals and objectives preempted almost all of the third day. Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the process was constructive, the third day.

“And God said, ‘Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision functional organization and engage in planning by objectives.’ The committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequent alternatives to program direction. And God saw that this was good. And God thought it was even worth all the coffee and donuts He had to supply. And so ended the fourth day.

“And God said, ‘Let the program be implemented consistent with long-range planning and strategy.’ The committee considered guidelines, linkages, structural sensitivities, alternatives, and implementational models. And God saw that this was very democratic. And so would have ended the fifth day – except for the unintentional renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and objectives.

“On the sixth day the committee agreed on criteria for judicatory assessment and evaluation. (This wasn’t the agenda God had planned.) He wasn’t able to attend the meeting, however, because He had to take the afternoon off and create day and night and Heaven and earth, and seas and plants and trees, and seasons and years, and sun and moon, and birds and fish and animals and human beings.

“On the seventh day God rested, and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turned out that the recommended form for things was nearly identical to the way God had already created them, so the committee passed a resolution commending God and His implementation according to guidelines. There was, however, some opinion expressed quietly that human beings should have been created in the image of the committee.

“And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee…”

Go and be in your committee!