Go out into the world...

Yesterday we spoke of creating a financial diary for a month to raise awareness of where the small change goes. Today, I want to speak about the emotions that affect our spending patterns.

Either review your month, or better yet start a new month of keeping a financial diary. Only this time, note the feelings that accompany each expenditure. Remember this is a private dairy so you can be completely honest with the process. Are you more likely to buy that expensive cup of coffee in the morning because you need a lift to start the day? Is there a tendency to buy a candy bar near the end of the week because you are growing weary of the grind? Do you tend to reward yourself with a little treat when you have just endured a hard interchange or even when you have accomplished a significant task? Somebody coined the phrase “small indulgences” to explain some of our decisions. I’ve finished this really challenging project. I “deserve” to treat myself to a pair of shoes, a hot fudge sundae, a movie, etc. None of the above is wrong in itself but it can easily become a pattern that causes a problem. By keeping the emotional-financial diary, you are able to evaluate your own emotional response to how you are spending your money.

Try it. You will probably be surprised at how often there is an emotional element to financial spending, especially in the small things.

Many years ago I read an article by a group called “Smoke Enders.” The first step that they recommended was to raise one’s awareness as to when and how often they had a cigarette. They suggested that a smoker place a small note card in his packet of cigarettes and each time s/he had a cigarette, they mark down the time and date of that smoke. I think the same approach might be helpful for a person who wanted to bring more discipline to their financial situation.

Go purchase a small, inexpensive pocket calendar. Tear out the week’s page and place it in your wallet or purse. Then for that week, every time you spend any money on even the smallest thing, mark down when and what it was. What you are doing is building a financial diary of your small expenditures. Keep this record for at least a month.

Now review your financial diary. Are there times of the day or week that you are more likely to spend some money. You are building an awareness of where the “pocket change” goes. Small expenditures are not wrong, but becoming aware of where and how can enable you to begin to make choices. You might also be surprised at how some spending is affected by the time of day or week. More on this tomorrow.

If you and your spouse both agreed to keep such a diary, and then compare them, you could learn a lot about your family spending habits. Fair warning, agree ahead of time that this is not a time for accusations but simply building awareness. Agree ahead of time that when you review the month, each of you can only comment on your own spending patterns.

If you have been having difficulty meeting bills, this might be a step towards some wise decision making.

One of the difficulties in helping congregations do a better job of caring for their pastors is that there is no one to raise the issue. If the pastor raises the issue, it feels like s/he wants to be pampered or is whining. It feels as if the pastor is being self-serving when the Gospel s/he proclaims emphasizes that Jesus and his disciples came to serve rather than be served. We forget that the gospels make clear that there were those who focused their energies on caring for Jesus.

Most congregations are not averse to treating their staff well. They just don’t think about it. Unconsciously the congregation assumes the pastor will take care of himself or herself, and if they get broken, the congregation will simply find a replacement.

Most congregations recognize that the pain and discomfort of saying goodbye to one pastor, going through the process of finding another one, and then adjusting to that new pastor is an exhausting process. When you suggest to them that treating a pastor well may make for longer pastorates, they usually nod their heads in agreement. However, who initiates that conversation?

I want to suggest that the place for that conversation to begin is when the Committee on Ministry is educating the Pastoral Nominating Committee. As the committee moves to calling a pastor, the COM should guide the committee in designing a good plan for pastoral care. Actually, having a good plan can help make the call even more attractive.

So the question is, recognizing the demands of the pastorate and the resulting stress and strain on the pastor, how can the church make the position more humane? This is the objetive of this blog and the ToolBox that you will find at www.pastoralcarenetwork.org . It is also the focus of our national meeting beginning on October 26 in San Francisco. Go to the same website for details.

As part of Presbytery’s support of our pastor’s spiritual journey, we can build on Scripture’s declaration that each of us are graced with different gifts of the Spirit that are to be used for the up-building of the Body of Christ? (See 1 Corinthians 14:1ff) There is value in trying to discern the different spiritual gifts that exist among our clergy in any given presbytery?

Begin by simply asking each of the clergy to consider the spiritual gifts that they see among the other clergy. Let them speak publicly of particular gifts that they have seen in other colleagues. The conversation might take place at a retreat, with individuals placed in a “hot seat” so that others can focus on them. Publicly affirming the gifts of colleagues also nurtures their spirituality by recognizing how the Spirit has gifted them.

While it is not as personal, one could also take advantage of the internet to invite clergy to identify the gifts they see in different colleagues. Over time you could highlight each of the clergy and affirm their gifts.

Someone should keep a running list of the gifts affirmed in each individual. Then, having recognized some of the particular gifts that exist in our part of the body, the body can then strategize to enable those mentioned to exercise their gifts on behalf of the larger body.

As we wind down the summer and before we get fully into the pressures of the fall, I want to suggest a good deed to do.

Pick out a clergy, maybe in your neighborhood, not necessarily in your denomination, and invite him or her out to lunch.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Yet how often do we get so caught up in the demands of the ministry that we neglect to “love our neighbor” who happens to be another clergy person. I think if you deliberately choose someone you don’t know very well and issue the invitation, you will discover both personal pleasure and a deep appreciation from the one you invite.You will benefit from choosing some diversity in your lunch choice. If you work in a community with a rabbi or imam, you might consider that as a possibility. You might also consider someone who appears to be different theologically or from some other perspective.

You are building a relationship that may well be beneficial in future ministry. The future of most moderate to small churches is going to be in building coalitions with other similar churches for common ministry in the community. That happens best when you have built a relationship before the specific ministry is chosen.

Do it now while there is still some time in your schedule.