A POSITIVE FRIENDSHIP FOR CLERGY

HOW TO ENRICH CLERGY FRIENDS

 

Studies confirm what clergy know that loneliness is one of the realities of ministry. By the nature of ministry, friendships within the congregation always confront the barriers of confidentiality. You often know things you cannot discuss and you feel deeply about things you cannot talk about. It is ironical that a faith built on the core principle of loving each other places its spiritual leaders apart. While other clergy might seem to be natural sources of support, both time constraints and the inherent competitiveness of our churches often create their own barriers.

What if you could take an action that would both interrupt the experience of loneliness among some of your colleagues and be a powerful expression of our faith? I want to propose a simple action that you could take that might be both fun and powerful.

HAVE SOME FUN

Pick out three to five clergy for this experiment. Pick at least one from another denomination, another from another city, maybe one that you don’t know very well, and a couple with whom you are better acquainted.

Write each of them a personal letter expressing thanks for their ministry. If you can be specific about an aspect of ministry that is best—I hear good things about your pastoral skills, you have a reputation for taking courageous stands, you have built a strong couples ministry, etc. What you are doing is thanking them for the way their gifts strengthen the church.

A SECOND SURPRISE

Now comes a second surprise. Say something like, “I am enclosing a ten dollar bill that is to be spent exclusively on yourself. You can go to a movie, have a hot-fudge sundae, buy a paperback just to enjoy. Spend it however you like except it should be just to indulge yourself in an act of self-love. After all, that is part of the great commandment, and by doing so; you help me act on another part of that commandment.

Later, if you choose, you can do something similar for another clergy colleague. While it does cost you a little, I can assure you that it is fun just anticipating people’s response.

As you experience this self-loving act, know that God loves you, and your ministry is appreciated.

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