ALONE IN THE CROWD

How does a pastor cope with the features of his or her profession that contribute to a sense of loneliness? You know secrets that you cannot share. You see destructive patterns that you cannot prevent. You experience frustrations that cause you to doubt your calling but to share them would seem small minded so you keep them inside.

Many a pastor has risen on Sunday morning and been struck by how many people are metaphorically bleeding in front of him or her. You attend a party that is supposed to be relaxing and fun but you know too much about too many who are there to totally relax. Or, someone you enjoy has come to you with an intimate problem, and you are pleased to help, but then you notice that this person is uncomfortable with you in future encounters.

YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION

One of the great mistakes people in high pressure positions make, is to assume that given their burdens, they are the exception to the rule. Drugs, alcohol, fast foods, lack of exercise, etc. , they can all destroy you no matter how noble and deserving of a break you are. If you were counseling another person bearing a heavy burden or immersed in grief, you would encourage them to seek outside help. As a pastor, it is important that you not try to either deaden the feelings or bear it all alone. Whether it be a spiritual director, a counselor, or a trusted mentor, you need to find someone who you can trust to share and process what you are feeling.

TECHNOLOGY HAS ITS BENEFITS

Even if you are in a geographically isolated community, the internet opens up some opportunities. Think of a friend or mentor who lives geographically far away and consider what it might be like to make use of Skype, Google Handout, or one of the other services to have a monthly gabfest with someone you can trust to help you process what you are feeling and experiencing.

Make use of your tablet or iPhone to occasionally interrupt your day and write two or three sentences about what you are coping with, how you feel about it, and what God might say about the situation if given the chance. Save it in a safe place and occasionally pull it out and integrate it into a time of prayer.

(to be continued)