an excerpt from a soon to be published book on clergy spiritual health
If People Ask It, I’ll Do It
Many of us enter the ministry with a deep desire to serve others but sometimes we confuse serving with pleasing others. Each person who thinks they have a need only sees himself or herself as one person who is making the request. However, when you multiply that with all the others in the congregation and often in the community, the need becomes insatiable.
A pastor needs to be realistic in what they are able to offer and draw upon the support of others in providing the response to people’s needs. In addition, sometimes a pastor needs to risk disapproval in assessing the importance of the request. Not all requests merit the sacrifice of one’s personal life.
My Family Needs to Understand the Congregation Comes First
It is very easy to become so caught up in responding to the demands of the ministry that a pastor neglects his or her family. While there are times when being with the family and responding to their concerns must be put on hold for a greater need, it is also an important witness to the faith for the pastor to place his or her “domestic church” first. We live in an over committed world, and the congregation needs to see how a Christian can care for the family even in a stressful time.
I Am the Key to Whatever Happens in the Church
Not only does such an attitude create a bottleneck in the ministry of the church, it also discourages the creative ministry of others. If our call is to equip the saints for God’s ministry to the world, we need to both encourage and release others to share in the ministry of the church. People who are affirmed for the ministry that their gifts enable them to offer feel ennobled by offering that ministry. A healthy pastor can decrease the pressure of his or her ministry and enhance the ministry of the church by setting the saints free for ministry.
Not All Criticism Is a Valid Criticism of the Pastor
When one does not take a criticism personally, one can often step back and see a significant issue in the other person’s life. Even when the criticism is valid, it is an opportunity to improve the ministry and not a reflection on the pastor’s value. When one can receive criticism in a healthy manner, it is a witness to the larger world of a better way to live and grow.
Some Day I’ll Find Time to Pray for Myself
Because we use the tools of spiritual enrichment—prayer, Scripture, worship, etc.—for the sake of others, it is very easy to neglect to take time to allow those resources to nurture our own spirit. No one ever suggested that healthy ministry is easy, but to stay in touch with the God who called us can at least make it meaningful. A pastor needs to make the nurture of their own spirit a priority.
