THE GENEROUS FATHER OF THE BRIDE APPROACHES YOU
Then there is the father of the bride, a rather pretentious businessman, who approaches you the week before the wedding of his daughter and asks you what would be an appropriate honorarium for you. He says it a little like you are a member of the wait staff at the local fast food restaurant and is considering what to tip you. Let’s just pretend that you have had enough and you want to speak honestly with him.
Mr. Richstone, your wife probably handled many of these details so it might be helpful for us to roughly calculate what you have spent so far on this wedding. The wedding dresses for bride and attendants ran you about $3,000. The tux rentals for the groom and 6 groomsmen cost about $900. You spent about $2,500 on the flowers, $4,000 for the pictures including a portrait of the bride and a live video of the event that will be cut and spliced together in the video trailer parked in the church parking lot so that it can be shown immediately during the wedding reception. You got a bargain on the rehearsal dinner for a mere $750 but the couple of hundred guests you’ve nvited to a sit down dinner with an open bar at the Country Club following the wedding will cost about $8,000. The wedding cake will be an additional $300. If I recall, the church is asking for a contribution of $200 and the organist is charging $150. But your wife insisted on having two soloists and a string trio that will add about $600.
I may have missed something but in round figures that comes to about $20,000.
You are asking me what type of honorarium would be appropriate. Let’s see, I’ve now spent eight hours in professional pre-marital counseling, will be giving up a Friday evening for the rehearsal and most of Saturday for your wedding, and I am the one key person without which this would not be a legal marriage. I know in restaurants now days they are suggesting between 15% and 20%, but heh, this is a spiritual event. Why don’t you just practice the discipline of the tithe and add 10% as my honorarium.
But you don’t say that because nice pastors are not supposed to appear greedy so you will accept the $25 and go out and have a Starbucks, instead.